The first human implant ?
Our favorite Tony Stark-wannabe (but more likely to end up as Norman Osborn if you ask me) announced this week the first human-implanted brain chip of his biotech company, Neuralink.
Elon posted on X on January 29th: ‘The first human received an implant from @Neuralink yesterday and is recovering well. Initial results show promising neuron spike detection.’
While every media outlet on Earth rushed to cover this groundbreaking news, is it truly groundbreaking? Spoiler alert – no.
This isn’t the first instance of a chip being implanted in a human brain. In September, the Dutch company Onward announced their tests involving a brain implant paired with spinal cord stimulation, aimed at restoring mobility to quadriplegic patients. Moreover, as early as 2019, researchers at the Grenoble Clinatec Institute showcased an implant enabling quadriplegics to control exoskeletons and move their limbs.
However, these achievements didn’t receive the same level of media attention, likely because they weren’t associated with someone who famously mocked Wikipedia and offered them $1 billion to change their name to “Dickipedia”. Yes, that actually happened.
Did all Neuralink-implanted monkeys die ?
This announcement follows a pretty bad buzz that began in September when Musk stated (on X again, unsurprisingly) that: ‘No monkey has died as a result of a Neuralink implant. For our early implants, to minimize risk to healthy monkeys, we chose terminal monkeys (close to death already).’
A statement that, as scientists, makes you go like ‘Uhh.. What?’ and facepalm. Unfortunately for Elon Musk, people are extremely sensitive to animal pain, and scientists are extremely sensitive to liars who try to bend the rules of animal testing.
Hence, public outrage and reviews of the public records of the lab. And to no one’s surprise, veterinary records clearly indicate animal deaths following Neuralink implants. Letters were sent to top officials at the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). If the SEC does investigate Musk’s comments, it would mark at least the third federal probe linked to Neuralink’s animal testing. Now you begin to get the Norman Osborn vibes…
What are the next steps ?
So, what comes next? With Neuralink initiating human trials, you now have the opportunity to empathize even more with laboratory mice by becoming a real-life lab rat! Or perhaps you’ll get to experience the true meaning of “mind if I pick your brain for a minute?” Not sure if it’s worth it though…
As more participants enroll in the trial, expect updates on the technology’s progress in the coming months. Neuralink’s ultimate aim is to develop a universal brain interface to address current medical needs and unlock future human potential.
Stay tuned to see how this unfolds – who knows, we might even encounter the Green Goblin along the way.
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